


Go Your Own Way

by Cassicio



Series: Faberry Songfics [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Songfic, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassicio/pseuds/Cassicio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She shouldn't love her, and she REALLY shouldn't tell her. The girl is already angry, she doesn't need more reason to hate her. But she can't not get it out there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gotta Go Your Own Way

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, if I did it would be so gay… Just so, so gay. I also do not own 'Rumors' or Go Your Own Way, they belong to Fleetwood Mac.

Rachel took a deep breath as she stepped into the choir room. Nerves weren't anything new to her (it would've shocked most people, but Rachel Berry was not immune to being nervous); but this was something else entirely. Even the moments before performing 'Get It Right' hadn't been as terrifying for her. That song had forced the brunette to open up, but this performance would be soul bearing on a whole other level. Rejection was inevitable, but it would still probably break her.

Mr. Schuester's assignment of the album 'Rumors' had seemed easy to the singer, until she re-listened to the album and came across _this_ song. She couldn't stop listening to it; her Top 25 playlist on iTunes showed that it was about fifty plays ahead of every other, even 'My Favorite Things'.

It had shattered the barrier she'd placed around the feelings she'd been harboring since freshman year, when she'd locked gazes with hazel eyes filled with regret, before having a grape slushy thrown into her face by the eyes' owner.

She knew it was messed up, falling for the person who proceeded to make her school life a living hell. Chasing after the boyfriend simply to have a reason to interact with them. Each argument and insult had been welcomed pain; loving the attention, even as the negativity of it cut deep into her heart.

Now Rachel's actions were about to boarder on masochism. Showing her feelings, though she _knew_ they were one-sided.

"So, who's ready to present their 'Rumors' piece?" The brunette's head shot up, she had been so lost in thought that she hadn't noticed the Spanish teacher entering the room.

Another deep breath was taken as she tentatively raised a hand.

pointed towards her. "Alright, Rachel, show us what you've got."

Crossing to the front of the room slowly with her head bowed, she missed everyone staring in shock at the diva's lack of her usual confidence.

"Um… This doesn't exactly follow the assignment of rumors, though it will confirm a rumor before it can even start." She nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before nodding towards the band. As the intro played the singer closed her eyes, forcing her body to relax and flow with the beat.

**Lovin' you...isn't the right thing to do**

Whipping her head up, she shocked everyone in the room again by looking straight past the boy they thought the song was dedicated to; instead once more locking chocolate orbs with hazel counterparts.

How can I ever change things ...That I feel

She shook her head self-deprecatingly as the expected shock and confusion shown in the other girl's eyes before they became blank, blocking all emotion.

**If I could ... Maybe I'd give you my world  
How can I ... When you won't take it from me**

A familiar ache built up in the singer's chest. Her teammate would never share her feelings, so why was she setting herself up for further reason to be ridiculed?

**You can go your own way Go your own way**  
You can call it ... Another lonely day  
You can go your own way Go your own way 

Rachel shrugged; acknowledging the fact that the girl didn't feel the same; that this wasn't some hopeful attempt to win her affections, but simply something the brunette needed to express.

**Tell me why ... Everything turned around  
Packing up ... Shackin' up's all you wanna do**

**If I could ... Baby I'd give you my world  
Open up ... Everything's waiting for you**

**You can go your own way Go your own way**  
You can call it ... Another lonely day  
You can go your own way Go your own way 

As the instrumental played she glanced around the room, taking in the expressions of the other students. Stopping on Santana, the diva took in the longing gaze directed at the blonde sitting on Artie's lap. Looking towards Finn, she saw his disbelief and confusion. Glee was one big soap opera, filled with love triangles, heartbreak, unrequited love, longing and so much more. It was a mess of hormones that left permanent emotional and mental scars. Rachel wondered if school wasn't really there to teach, but rather to try to contain the insanity that was adolescence.

Turning back to the object of her own unrequited affection, she proceeded to give an example of what she'd explained to Sue Sylvester about being a diva. ' _Being a diva is all about emotion. In fact you feel so much emotion that it cannot be physically contained. Sometimes you have to close your eyes, and turn your head! And push! Push your feelings away they're that big!_ '

**You can go your own way Go your own way**  
You can call it ... Another lonely day  
You can go your own way Go your own way 

**You can go your own way**  
You can call it another lonely day  
You can go your own way 

Finishing the song, she quickly grabbed her bag and walked out, not bothering to stick around for her club mates' reactions.


	2. Prom Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1: Spoilers: 'Prom Queen' episode.
> 
> A/N 2: Again, sadly… I do not own Glee. I also do not own any of the songs used, they belong to their respective counterparts.
> 
> A/N 3: Rachel singing is **bold** , Jesse singing is underlined, both singing is **bold and underlined**
> 
>  
> 
> A/N 4: Rachel's thoughts are in _italics_.

To say Rachel was shocked to re-enter McKinley the Monday following her performance and have no extra slushy-facial or insults including "dyke" "carpet-muncher" or any other such derogatory term, would be an extreme understatement. She had filled a second bag with at least six changes of clothes in anticipation of the HBIC's reaction to her serenade; but it seemed that her performance was ignored, or at least found less important than the Prom Queen campaign. Paid off campaigners were walking around handing out cupcakes, pens and other small bribes with a smile and "Vote for…" whoever they were paid by. The singer didn't know whether to be relieved or wary of a retaliation to come after the craze of Prom.

Walking into Glee Club, Rachel was again surprised to find that not one of her teammates was trying to question her on the performance.

_Maybe it wasn't so obvious to them._ She thought. _Or maybe they thought it was a challenge to her about Finn._ Sighing, she took a seat as Lauren, Santana and Brittany walked through the door discussing prom dresses.

….

Mercedes' words rang in Rachel's head as she entered the auditorium.

" _…and say 'you look so beautiful' and then he'd… grab my hand and ask me to dance…_ "

She wanted to be that for Quinn; for Quinn to be that for her. Instead, Finn got to be that; the one to compliment Quinn, and give her a corsage, and ask her to dance.

She shook away the thoughts as she led Sam onto the stage.

"Is this a surprise party or something? Cause my birthday was last week."

"I-it was?" Rachel felt awful for not knowing, but she pushed the feeling aside for now. "Um… No. Mercedes and I, we have a proposition for you."

"Yeah, we were wondering if you'd like to go to Prom with us?"

"Kind of like a three-way date... but, not the dirty kind." The brunette was glad it was Sam and not Puck they were asking.

"That sounds great." Sam said, smiling adorably. "But I can't afford to take one girl to Prom; I don't know how I'm gonna take two." Rachel pulled out twenty dollars. Sam frowned. "What's this?"

"Our Prom budget."

As she and Mercedes explained their plan, Rachel watched Sam smile grow again, causing her to smile as well.

"So, you'll go with us?" Mercedes asked.

They held their breath as Sam paused. "It would be an honor."

"Yes!" The two divas pulled the boy into a hug.

But Rachel couldn't help wishing that it was another blonde who was saying yes to her, and who she was hugging. A small sigh escaped her lips.

….

Once again, Rachel found herself on the stage of the auditorium; this time with the company of the AV Club.

_Perfect._

"Oh, um… Members of the Audio-Visual Club; I might possibly sing this song at Prom, and when I'm done rehearsing I'd like your feedback. Tell me if I was brilliant or simply outstanding."

Not waiting for a reply, she crossed to the piano, laying out the sheet music and closing her eyes.

**There's a fire starting in my heart**  
Reaching a fever pitch,  
it's bringing me out the dark 

Finally, I can see you crystal clear  
Go ahead and sell me out  
And I'll lay your shit bare 

Rachel froze as a very familiar voice rang from one of the auditorium entrances. Whipping around, she laid eyes on the man. She jumped as the AV Club began back-up vocals.

_I didn't even know they could sing._ She shook her head. _So not the point right now, Rachel._

See how I leave with every piece of you  
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

He began crossing towards her and she couldn't help but to admire his voice, remembering the powerful duets they'd had.

_Before he threw an egg in my face._

There's a fire starting in my heart  
Reaching a fever pitch  
And its bring me out the dark 

The scars of your love remind me of us  
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all  
The scars of your love they leave me breathless  
I can't help feeling 

**We could have had it all**

She couldn't let him have the only spotlight.

**** Rolling in the deep  
You had my heart inside of your hand  
And you played it  
To the beat 

He _had_ played her heart. He may have been more of a distraction from Quinn than anything else; but she almost gave her virginity to him and he repaid her by introducing her to a mother who decided to abandon her a second time, and then egging her. The dead baby chicks still haunted her sometimes.

She glared at him as the memory left a shadow feeling of yoke running down her face.

**Baby I have no story to be told**  
But I've heard one of you  
And it's gonna make your head burn  
Think of me in the depths of your despair  
Making a home down there  
'Cause mine sure won't be shared 

The scars of your love remind me of us  
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all  
The scars of your love they leave me breathless  
I can't help feeling 

**We could have had it all**  
Rolling in the deep  
You had my heart inside of your hand  
And you played it  
With the beat 

Throw your soul through every open door   
**Count your blessings to find what you look for**   
Turned my sorrow into treasured gold

She shook her head, scoffing at his plea for forgiveness.

**You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow**

**** We could have had it all  
We could have had it all  
It all, it all it all,

He offered her a hand. She stalked by him.

Eh!

**We could have had it all**  
Rolling in the deep  
You had my heart inside of your hand  
And you played it  
To the beat 

**You could have had it all  
Rolling in the deep  
You had my heart inside of your hand**

**And you played**  
And you played   
And you played  
And you played it to the beat. 

She watched him sigh, still in shock that he was in front of her again after over a year.

"It's good to see you again, Rachel."

"…Jesse."

….

Walking down the hallway with her books, Rachel played over the conversation with Jesse St. James; laughing over the fact that he'd gotten kicked out of UCLA. She may have forgiven him and invited him to join Sam, Mercedes and her for Prom; but, that didn't mean she wasn't basking a bit in his failure.

Suddenly, Finn popped from around a corner, like he was waiting for her.

"So, I heard a nasty rumor that Jesse St. James was back in town, and I also heard that he was going to be your date."

Rachel had to restrain an eye-roll at the man-child's lack of tact and inability to make up his mind up on whose life to fuss over; her's or Quinn's. Explaining the situation didn't help. She decided to take a dig at him.

"He's going to be in town for a while though, so I'm not sure what's going to come of it."

She could hear the jealousy in his reply. "It's just I don't trust him you know, don't you remember what he did to you? How awful he was…"

Rachel just barely held back a snort at the giant boy's hypocritical comment. Whirling back towards him, she decided ignoring Finn's obviously still maintained feelings for her wasn't working. Instead, she'd be a bit blunter. "You can't tell me what to do anymore, okay? If I want to date Jesse, or anyone for that matter, it stopped being your business when you broke up with me." She actually wanted to say that he never had the right to make it his business; but, it'd probably just make the man-child even more persistent and whiney.

"I still care about you…"

_No, you care about what you can't have. You wanted me when you were dating Quinn, then you got me and left wanting to find your "inner rock-star"; Of course, when I got together with Jesse you suddenly wanted me back. Tried to win me back, failed, Jesse acted like an ass, I grabbed you back so you couldn't go after Quinn; I found out what a lying asshole you are, made-out with Puckerman, you dumped me and then acted like a hypocrite again when you helped Quinn cheat on Sam. Now that you have Quinn your eyes are set on me again. Fuck… What do people see in you? Popularity, 'star' quarterback, semi-sweet? How bout, dumb as a post, hypocritical, liar with the petulant need for anything you can't have._

Rachel blinked as her inner monologue finished, realizing she was still stood in front of the center of said monologue. Shaking her head, she addressed the boy again. "Look, all I ask is that, whatever I choose, you will be just as supportive of me as I am of you and Quinn; even though I'm dying everyday inside about it." _Everyday I see you with her, when I know I'd treat her better than you ever could._

Hearing him begin a rant about Prom, Rachel tuned the boy out; that is, until she heard of his failure at picking out a corsage. She almost wanted to completely misdirect him in what to get her; but, she knew how important that night was to Quinn, she couldn't be a reason for it to be messed up for the blonde. She explained to the boy what he should already know. "A gardenia; with a light green ribbon, to match her eyes." The distaste of helping Finn further woo the girl who held her heart left a copper taste in her mouth. The singer realized the taste was actually from biting the inside of her cheek till it bled in order to hold back screaming at the boy that she could be so much better of a girlfriend to Quinn than he was a boyfriend. Trembling, she quickly ended the conversation and walked away.

….

Rachel sighed; Prom was going better than expected. Dinner had been fun, even with having to see Finn and Quinn together and having Finn be a jealous jerk to Jesse. Sam, Artie and Puck had actually managed to perform a somewhat decent version of Rebecca Black's Friday. The diva didn't even think that was possible.

Now it was her turn to perform and she was using it to openly give Finn and Jesse the boot. She'd wanted to perform Kelly Clarkson's 'Since U Been Gone' but she doubted it would be found appropriate for Prom by Mr. Shue and Figgins. Plus, they had to perform at least one slow ballad, and everyone had basically volunteered Rachel without a second thought.

**No I can't take one more step towards you**  
'Cause all that's waiting is regret  
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?  
You lost the love I loved the most 

**I learned to live, half-alive  
And now you want me one more time**

**And who do you think you are?**  
Runnin' round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are? 

Her eyes stayed locked on Quinn and Finn, trying to control the tears at how content the blonde seemed in his arms.

**I hear you're asking all around**  
If I am anywhere to be found  
But I have grown too strong  
To ever fall back in your arms 

**And I learned to live, half-alive  
And now you want me one more time**

**Who do you think you are?**  
Runnin round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are? 

**Dear, it took so long just to feel alright**  
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
Cause you broke all your promises  
And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back 

The brunette watched Finn glance at her consistently and had to forcefully keep in a snort and eye-roll

**Who do you think you are?**  
Runnin' round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all 

**And who do you think you are?**  
Runnin round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
Don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all 

She gave a quick bow of appreciation for the applause she received from her classmates before returning to the dance floor and giving Blaine a chance to sing.

Jesse pulled her aside as the stage was being set for the next song. He turned to her, looking resigned. "I don't have a chance, do I?" Rachel shook her head, looking the boy straight in the eye. He sighed and then looked at her with a frown. "Just promise me you're not gonna go back to _that_ ," he jerked a thumb towards Finn, "either."

Rachel shook her head again, this time more enthusiastically. "Never gonna happen again."

Jesse smirked. "Good." He pulled her into his arms as the music started. "Question." She raised an eyebrow. "Can I still flirt with you and such? It's fun." She rolled her eyes with a chuckle before nodding her consent. "Another question for you;" he leaned into her neck, whispering near her ear, "who has your eye that you won't give me a second shot?"

Rachel stiffened in shock, once again grateful that Jesse was a good lead or they would've stumbled. "I- I don't know what you mean, Jesse."

"Come on, Rach. We're a lot alike, remember? I can read you a bit. Now who is it?" Rachel's eyes unconsciously flickered to Finn and Quinn. "But you said you weren't going after Finn aga-." Jesse paused, eyes widening. "Holy shit." He guffawed. "It was never about that man-child was it?" Rachel shook her head again, this time with a bit of a smirk and a chuckle of her own. "That's great."

Suddenly the man-child in question was pulling them apart, shouting about PDA, jealousy and anger radiating off him in waves.

Before either girl could pull the two apart, Jesse and Finn were engaged in a shoving match that ended in Finn punching Jesse and them both getting kicked out. Rachel stared in shock and anger at the two boys; not mad on part of herself, but because she knew how important this night was to Quinn and Finn had just affectively ruined it. Looking over at Quinn, she saw the blonde glare at her before storming away. The singer winced.

….

"…Kurt Hummel."

Rachel's eyes didn't see Kurt and Santana run from the room, chased after by Blaine and Brittany. Her eyes had latched onto Quinn, watching the blonde break from her shock and run from the room. Following Blaine and Brittany's examples, she chased after the girl.

She followed Quinn through the bathroom door, ignoring the girl who had fled from the upset ex-head Cheerio.

"Quinn you need to calm down!" The blonde looked close to hyperventilating.

"This is your fault!" Quinn whirled around, tears streaming down her face. "Nobody ever would've voted for me 'cause they know he would rather be with you!"

Rachel crossed closer to the blonde. "That's not true!" Her face snapped to the side, but her brain didn't register the slap until she felt the burning of her cheek. Turning back to Quinn with wide eyes, she saw the other girl's own eyes widen with shock.

"I'm so sorry." Rachel watched her back farther into the room, shaking her head. "There's no way I'm staying at this school, I'm gonna transfer."

At those words, the diva shot forward. "No! You can't! You can't let a stupid plastic crown chase you away. You are Quinn _'Fucking'_ Fabray, you don't run over something stupid like that. You especially don't run because of some oaf who doesn't realize he's got perfection in his grasp and is treating it like trash." A hand reached out to cup Quinn's cheek, brushing away tears. "You can't leave, Quinn. You just can't."

Quinn flinched away, backing up until she was against the far wall. "Why do you care so much? I've been horrible to you."

Rachel threw up her hands. Did the girl really not understand what she'd been saying with 'Go Your Own Way'? Marching closer to the blonde, she cupped the back of her neck and smashed their lips together, searing the feeling into her heart. Pulling away, she walked to the sink farthest from Quinn. "That answer your question?" She meant to sound flippant, but her voice cracked on the last syllable. Glancing in the mirror, she examined her cheek, where a very light bruise was beginning to form. "Hmm… Most girls would be upset about getting slapped in the face, but I happen to appreciate the drama of it." She was giving Quinn an out. If the other girl wanted to ignore what just happened, then she could.

"Rachel…" The brunette watched her mirror image being approached by mirror Quinn. A gasp escaped her as hands grasped her hips. Turning to the blonde, she raised an eyebrow in question. "You just… I…" Lips crashed together again suddenly, and were brought away again, just as quickly; but only leaving about a half centimeter between them. Quinn rested her forehead against the other girl's, both their eyes closed. "Compared to this feeling, fireworks are sparklers." She whispered. Rachel smiled, tugging the girl down into a slower, deeper kiss.


End file.
